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The Saints That Serve Podcast
Welcome to The Saints That Serve Podcast!
Where each week, your hosts dive into the crossroads of faith, culture and the unknown.
Christ is Lord and the Kingdom is now!
We are The Saints That Serve!
The Saints That Serve Podcast
Episode 23 - The ADHD Experience
- Tune in every Monday for a new episode of "The Saints That Serve Podcast" -
Our latest episode of Saints that Serve explores the fascinating intersection of ADHD and creativity, with Janelle stepping in as co-host while Jon recuperates. With a glass of orange juice in hand, we dive into personal stories, including Janelle's recent ADHD diagnosis and how it has reshaped her artistic journey. The conversation is anything but linear, full of laughter as we navigate the delightful chaos that is life with ADHD, offering listeners a candid look at the unique challenges and joys that accompany it.
Ever zoned out in the middle of a conversation or struggled to keep your mind from racing at bedtime? You're not alone. We unravel the everyday hurdles of attention and focus, sharing our own experiences with getting sidetracked and the hilarious mishaps that ensue. From forgetting common words like "wrist" to exploring the silent dialogue of dreams, we discuss how ADHD impacts day-to-day life, work, and school. Whether dealing with the unpredictability of job applications or the transition from homeschooling to traditional schooling, our stories aim to resonate with anyone who's felt overwhelmed by the demands of deadlines and self-confidence.
Janelle's entrepreneurial journey with Performing with Purpose adds a fresh layer to our discussion, highlighting the challenges and triumphs of building a business while navigating the unpredictable waters of social media. As we touch on faith's role in providing stability amidst the ADHD whirlwind, the episode rounds off with playful banter and a nod to teamwork and friendship. This episode is a spirited rollercoaster of humor, insight, and inspiration—perfect for anyone seeking a relatable and enjoyable listen.
If you want to send us a question or a comment you can by texting us by clicking this link!
Welcome to the Saints that Serve podcast, where each week, your hosts dive into the crossroads of faith, culture and the unknown.
Speaker 1:Christ is Lord and the kingdom is now. We are the Saints that Serve. Welcome everybody to episode 23 of the Saints that Serve podcast. I am your host, jairus.
Speaker 2:And I'm your host, Janelle.
Speaker 1:That's right. She interviewed and she is now John's replacement. Yes, that's right.
Speaker 2:Coming at you with some more Diamond Dot painting content.
Speaker 1:Diamond Dot painting content. I want to get this out of the way right. So John is sick. He is still sick, but don't worry because the way that these are going to be released, it's going to sound like John's been sick for like three weeks straight. That's not the case. Last week's episode 22, was recorded like two days ago.
Speaker 2:We're giving Johnny a break. You know we're letting his voice heal and you know I'm always there, ready to just slide in steal his job. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1:New co- host Take the paycheck.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So there you go. So yeah, john's sick, so y'all be out there praying for him, though I imagine, by the time this comes out, Lord willing, he'll be healed. So there you go. This comes out, lord willing, he'll be healed. So there you go. So again, he is not dying of any terrible disease, it's just been that we know of.
Speaker 1:That we know of. It's just been two days since the previous recording. We are trying to bank up and just give him some time. So I called Janelle and she said-. I said I'm on my way. She said well O-N, well O-N-Y.
Speaker 2:O-M-W.
Speaker 1:O-M-W.
Speaker 2:I'm on my yay.
Speaker 1:I said O-N-Y right I don't you know what?
Speaker 2:we're going to skip that O-M-Y.
Speaker 1:Luckily I know the editor that'll get cut out. O wait, o-m-o-n-y. So yeah, british.
Speaker 2:I was about to say C, for some reason.
Speaker 1:C.
Speaker 2:C governor. This is like the last episode. I was on mixing all my languages.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that Hispanic British person there you go Representation. So yeah, you messed up my train of thought. I'm so sorry. No, you're fine, because it's ironically what you come to me and said you want to talk about.
Speaker 2:I was like, hmm, Jairus, we both have ADHD. We should talk about ADHD on the podcast today.
Speaker 1:And, in the process of talking about ADHD, get off track 17,000 times.
Speaker 2:Right. So anyone listening to this episode prepare yourself for a wild ride. Just sit back, relax. Maybe get a snack, a little something to drink. I'm drinking orange juice right now.
Speaker 1:I'm also drinking orange juice right now.
Speaker 2:So we're just, you know, sipping on some juice and we're going to have a fun conversation. It's like not really a roller coaster, it's more of like one of those.
Speaker 1:It is a ride, it's like an.
Speaker 2:Alp train like a train through the Alps where you just kind of like sit there and you like look out the window and you don't really know where you are or where you're going. But it's a beautiful sight.
Speaker 1:I was going to compare it to like one of those Disney World rides where they just put you in the car and you just spin around a little bit oh yeah, you have different sights, but they're not that unique. Spin around a little bit, oh yeah, I could do that. Yeah, you have different sights, but they're not that unique and you're moving really slow. You might go up high.
Speaker 2:And it kind of makes you want to vomit a little bit.
Speaker 1:Just a little bit, but only if you're like a five-year-old.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay. So if any five-year-olds listening, get your barf bag.
Speaker 1:That's right, because you're going to throw up. But yeah, I was going to say too, since last episode is only like two days ago, we don't have any new announcements since last week.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Which was none. We didn't have any announcements last week either. So it's always weird recording these and being part of the creation process and then trying to be mindful, thinking about the linear one week episode, you know, spacing between each episode, and have to sometimes talk about, yeah, in last week's episode, and for me, I just finished editing that like 12 hours ago. So Right.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like you have to put on like a performance to almost play along with that one episode a week? Narrative.
Speaker 1:No, I don't think so all the time. I think it's more of just being mindful of terminology, because if you say you know, it's not a lie that I say last week's episode was the episode with me and Ashley in it, even though at this recording it hasn't come out yet. So it's not lying. But you do have to kind of be careful how you word it. But I've never been the one to always lie or keep up with the illusion. I would rather pull back the curtain and let people understand the creation process, and that's probably from my point of view of enjoying the creation process, right. So there you go.
Speaker 2:There you go, which leads into our first topic creativity and ADHD. What has your experience been with that?
Speaker 1:ADHD.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:It's for me personally, been a nightmare in my entire life, mm. So you were saying that you recently, in the last year, were diagnosed with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it was 20, it was late 2023.
Speaker 2:So a little over a year ago and I was meeting with my counselor and I just started it's kind of funny I started getting people making comments to me more often about like Janelle, do you have ADHD? Or like people would start asking me, or people who did have like a lifelong experience with that started telling me yes, janelle, because your brain works like mine and no one else would understand the conversation we're having right now, but you follow along with it because you probably have ADHD as well. So that just got me kind of not weirded out, but just like huh, this keeps on popping up more and more and I'm also running into trouble with productivity in a way that I didn't when I was still in like a structured school type setting. And so then I was meeting with my counselor and I just brought it up to her and so I did one of those self-diagnosis you know papers that was like so it wasn't an actual medical, like okay, we ran these tests, so what you're saying is you're a liar.
Speaker 2:I guess so, but my counselor said, like you don't, really, unless you want to be medically treated, then go ahead and go through with that diagnosis and go through with that diagnosis. But if you don't want to be medically treated, then we can do this a few different paper tests to just kind of reassure your thought process of yes or no, and then you can look for alternative. I don't know, behavioral changes.
Speaker 1:So for me it's when I say a nightmare, it's just like you said the productivity is just on a daily basis in the toilet, like in this episode recording it right now. I know already that I will zone out in the middle of your conversation at least three or four times In 23 episodes of this podcast. Has happened every single podcast episode and the only reason why I know what happens in the episodes is because I edit them.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1:There will be several instances in the conversation when I'm editing it that I don't remember that.
Speaker 2:That's so interesting. I also I've gotten that feeling of, like man, I'm such a bad friend or I'm such a bad listener, because I will. I'll zone out, especially if someone's giving me advice, someone's giving me advice, then I will like stop, I'll like be listening and nodding along, but in my head I'm thinking of something completely different, or I'm already kind of figuring it out on my own, and that always, like, made me feel guilty. But that's interesting that you zone out as well.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's bad, It's's real bad. Um, I will, even in this moment, just now, I'm going to actually keep this in, because that is a example of it of I'll have like 37 things to say and I will lose them all because I'll get distracted with the fact that the blinds over there are slightly adjacent.
Speaker 2:They're not quite closed.
Speaker 1:They're not quite closed and then my mind will go that and it's just like my mind will dump all of the actual important things of conversating, right, and that infuriates me so much because it's like I have great things to keep the conversation going and I will lose them all. Right, I will also suffer where I will sit down to start playing a video game and I'll pick up my phone because it buzzed and that starts me down the rabbit trail of TikTok and I'll be on TikTok for an hour and then look up and be like, oh yeah, I was in the middle of a cut scene. Oh no, in the video game, and so it's just, it's rough.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The best way I can explain it, because it will happen sometimes where I'll be laying in bed at night and I think that my mind goes so much. And, by the way, by the end of this episode, everybody's going to think me and you are psychopaths.
Speaker 2:Unless they also have ADHD, then they're going to be like whoa.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's that, but by the person who is listening to this, and they also have ADHD.
Speaker 1:So I think that people are going to be like listening and be like self-diagnose me based off my stories of like no, Jairus, you're 100% schizophrenic, or something like that. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:You got misdiagnosed.
Speaker 1:But yeah, maybe at the age of eight or nine I was diagnosed and I was given Ritalin and I just didn't like the way it made me as a person when taking medication.
Speaker 2:What changed?
Speaker 1:Just kind of like zombified, you know hyper-jerus, became, you know, just brain-dead, dead Jairus, almost what it felt like to me. Yeah, that's probably normal for most people, but it's just like it didn't feel like I was myself right.
Speaker 1:So I was like I'm not gonna do that anymore yeah but other aspects of it for me is I'll be laying in bed and two things will happen, and this is gonna make me sound like I'm crazy. I don't think, okay, I'll hear voices and I don't think it's like. Voices tell me what to do. It's as much as I'm so engrossed in my train of thought because my mind is going a thousand miles a minute at all times and I think that I'll zone out in almost like a dream state where I will actually hear my thoughts verbally, if that makes sense. Interesting It'll be like one little sound or like somebody saying a single word or stuff like that, but it's not like it's telling me to do awful stuff. It's my own thoughts, right. But at one point my own thought will be then vocalized and it's a really interesting thing because it'll always shock me awake. Oh, interesting in the sense of, like you know again, even in my sleeping, trying to go to sleep, you know I'm still going a thousand miles a minute, right?
Speaker 2:so that used to always frustrate me when I heard people like oh, yeah, yeah. And then I just, you know, I lay down and I sleep and I fall asleep in like 10 minutes.
Speaker 1:I'm like huh, oh, well, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too, totally. When I was in high school, I used to be able to track my train of thought every single night.
Speaker 2:And it would always I would run through. I was a a dancer, so I would run through the dances that I was performing in like that season. So I'd run through the dances in my head, I would practice Japanese in my head and I would go over like the words that I had learned, or I would try to have conversations and then I would maybe like process through something happened the day. But anyway, it was just interesting because I started noticing, every single night I would like I would go to lay down and it would take me like an hour to fall asleep because I would do all of those things in my head. I would always like okay, this is the dances that I've done and this is the words that I've learned. So then I started dreaming in Japanese and that was really strange because I'm like am I actually hearing these Japanese words or is it just like dream language? And I know that it's Japanese, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Cause it's just like are dreams actually saying words or are they noises, and your brain interprets them as sentences, almost like it's dubbing an anime or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah Right, like subtitles in my dream.
Speaker 1:So something that's interesting for me is again laying in bed, and all of a sudden it'll just become quiet, in the sense of not just the room, but my mind will become quiet, and that's also jarring yeah because it's the best way to explain it is if you have a noise that is going on around you consistently 24-7.
Speaker 1:And then it just stops, and you got so used to the noise that your mind tuned it out Right, and then the moment it stopped, you realize how quiet the room actually is. That will happen occasionally with my mind and I'll just be like whoa, you know what I mean, and it's always very short, and then all of a sudden it's, it's, it's.
Speaker 1:This is gonna sound awful, but it's like what television imagines god hearing prayers yeah that constant noise of a auditorium of people talking all at once, yeah, and then imagine that just being quiet, right, it's not like it's deafening or anything, it's just constant movement in the mind. Yeah, and that is on. My other point is I feel like I get myself in trouble because of how quick of a conclusion I can come to. So getting all of the information to something and being able to connect all the dots in such a quick moment that it makes it look like I knew about this thing the whole time.
Speaker 1:So like, especially in like a job setting where it's like this happened to me when I worked at the pizza place, where I was able to connect the dots that somebody was using the wrong soap. Instead, it was like essentially it was degreaser, which is poison almost in the soap, and they had to end up rewashing all of the dishes for the night and I was able to very quickly when they said, um, oh, somebody said something about, hey, we got this new degreaser, and I looked over and I saw the degreaser bottle and it looked like the soap bottle. And then going through my train of process and realizing, just because somebody said we got new degreaser, and being able to connect the dots and realize, hey, all the dishes in the night are contaminated in a split second. To make it look like I was the one who did it.
Speaker 2:Oh, did you get in trouble?
Speaker 1:No, I had to explain. No, I promise you. I promise you it wasn't me, but I just realized that Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just realized that Right. Yeah, I get in trouble. I don't know if I don't think I do this so much anymore, but I used to get in trouble finishing other people's sentences for them, but I felt like they were taking too long or like I felt like I was helping them. I thought that they were pausing because they couldn't think of a word, and they were struggling with the word. So I was like, oh, then I'll help them out. But then people would just get frustrated Like Janelle, let me talk.
Speaker 1:Right, but the thing is is your mind is racing and creating all the possible outcomes to a conversation, Right when you already know the answer and you're like let me help you.
Speaker 2:Let me talk for you, you can pretty easily like, accurately predict what someone's about to say, or even like. When I listen to new music, I can typically sing along with it, even if. I haven't heard it before, or I've only heard it once because most like words or most lyrics are pretty predictable.
Speaker 1:Also music patterns are very especially in modern music, like especially pop music. They usually follow the same music patterns anyways, so chord progression, that's the phrase.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. So what was your experience in school? Like elementary school into high school with ADHD. What was that like?
Speaker 1:It's the same thing, I couldn't pay attention.
Speaker 2:Because you were public schooled right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I probably would have been better off if I was homeschooled, but I probably got distracted when I'm doing my hobbies and I get distracted within those. It's like no one really wants to be at school, so it's like I didn't do well in school school.
Speaker 2:So it's like I didn't. I didn't do well in school, so I was homeschooled and so my mom had a philosophy of just letting me explore the things that I liked. And you know we still had to do hard things. Like she still made me do math and I was pretty behind in math when I was in elementary school and you know we would read and so like I still was meeting those goals that kids need to know, like reading and arithmetic, but then other than that it was like playtime, you know, like sure, just go.
Speaker 2:You know I was really into writing because I was really creative, so I loved coming up with stories and writing and then you know we did, we grew up in a lot of extracurricular stuff, so I was in the car all the time. I would learn to draw, anyway, so I had a pretty free environment growing up. So then by the time I got into middle school, and it was probably more like eighth grade that I went to this one day a week school and I was like, oh, grades actually matter, like I actually need to learn how to study and I need to learn how to take tests, because I'm going into high school next year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a gold sticker on my kitty cat picture is not adequate.
Speaker 2:Right. Because, yeah, my mom would be like, oh, you got this one wrong, go redo it and then I'll write 100. And I was like, oh, ok. So I started realizing, oh, I need to learn. I didn't know how to study for a test, I didn't know, like, how to break up homework in a competition to be good at it.
Speaker 2:And because I had that drive of like, well, I want to be good at school, and I think I did have a competitive edge even though I didn't realize it at the time when, like, there are deadlines and teachers are expecting me to turn this thing in, because when I was being homeschooled and my mom didn't really care about deadlines, she gave me a lot of freedom. Then I typically wouldn't do the things that I didn't want to do just because there was no competition, there was no deadline or consequence for not doing it Anyway. So I think that was one of the reasons why I was like, well, no, I don't have ADHD for so long, because I didn't struggle in school in the way that ADHD is often connected to.
Speaker 1:But you think that was because of your very specific school experience.
Speaker 2:But I think it was because I was interested in school, I liked to learn things and so, but I also I was a huge perfectionist and a huge people pleaser. So it was much more of like oh, I'm anxious about school because I need to get everything done and I need to do it perfectly, because I want to please these teachers and I want to, and so like I had the motivation and the pressure to get it done and to do well in it. But it wasn't like I don't know, it was still a I would still wait to the last minute to do everything. Like I would still write papers night before and I would still. You know, I didn't have that same like oh, priority number one, I'll do this, priority number two, I'll do that. It was just like oh, I need to get it all done.
Speaker 1:And that is even me, to this day, right With my job and my work, waiting till the last minute to get it done. And then even the podcast.
Speaker 2:I'll wait till the episodes airing Monday and here I am editing it at 11 o'clock at night on Sunday night.
Speaker 1:Right, right, I tried my best to get away from that and I've gotten better with it, but it's like really really have to try very hard to train yourself to be very diligent about managing your time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's what I've heard. Like with different videos I see on ADHD that, like women oftentimes get diagnosed way later in life because they've found ways around their ADHD. That still stresses them out and doesn't really improve their quality of life. Adhd that still stresses them out and doesn't really improve their quality of life, it's like still gives a lot of anxiety and depression but you're able to still keep up with certain like tasks or so. Like I was still able to have good grades but I was anxious all the time and so it's a very interesting like I would stress my mom out all the time because I remember I had a science fair that I was in and I finished my project the morning of the science fair and it was great. Like I got good marks on it and like it was a good project. I had edited a video, I did a board for it. You know it was everything. It's just in her mind. She was like this should have been done like two or three days ago and yet I was doing it like the morning of.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like when you're given a due date on something, is that always the due date? Because that's how I am, is like I have until this day. But at my job I always feel like I get rep amended sometimes where it's like hey, why isn't this not done yet?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, You're like, well, it's not the due date.
Speaker 1:It's not the due date yet. But it's like, why give me the due date? If you want it done sooner, tell me when you want it done and I'll have it done by then. Don't give me a due date and then say and put it you know the project three or four weeks out, right, and then get mad at me when it's, you know, not done yet yeah, I actually had a situation recently.
Speaker 2:I was writing a script for my boss and because for a performance that we were going to do, and I had offered like, yeah, I would love to write this script and I had come up with the concept for it. And I'm very, very good at like coming up with the creative ideas and like having a vision for something, but then the actual like step by step execution of it I struggle with a lot.
Speaker 2:And so it's like I had had the whole vision for what this performance was going to be, but I hadn't written it down in script format line by line. But I hadn't written it down in script format line by line. And so, you know, I knew I was going to be doing it like a month or so before the actual okay, we're going to give the scripts out to the performers on this day. And so in my mind I was telling myself every single day, over and over again I need to work on the script, I need to work on the script. I would write it down on lists, I would try to like remember, and then it just would not get done. I would always prioritize other things, even though in the back of my mind I was like I need to work on the script, because I was thinking like, oh, my boss probably wants to read it a few days before the actual due date, so. But then I never asked her hey, what day do you want this on? And so it ended up being a few days before. She asked me hey, how's the script coming along and can I read it?
Speaker 2:And at that point there were like two pages done of the script. That ended up being like 10 pages and I was like, um, yeah, I'm busy right now, I'll get it to you like as soon as I can. And so then the next day I had to just own up to it and be like I'm still writing it, and I had to like cancel all the plans I made that day so I could actually get it done. And it was the day before the due date, anyway. So that happens to me too. But thankfully she didn't, you know, reprimand me. She still was able to read it that night because I was able to finish it in time. But in my head I reprimand myself of like I should have gotten it done, like why didn't I get it done a few days before?
Speaker 1:I feel like ADHD people also probably are the most critical.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:Of themselves.
Speaker 2:That's their biggest critic is because I'll edit the podcast and be like this is going to be awful and it ends up always being great. Yes, I do so. I'm a choreographer and for years I would always like show my mom I would work on something again the day I was going to teach it. I was like actually writing it down. I would always have the idea of what it was going to be, but in the actual like this is what I'm going to teach. It would be the day of that I worked on it and I would show it to someone and I'd be like is it weird? Is it like not good, like, and I would always think that. And then they'd be like what? No, like it's great, you know that looks cute or whatever.
Speaker 1:I always struggle with. I need to hear somebody say it looks good yeah it's not that I don't know what I'm doing, it's that I'm not confident in what I've done.
Speaker 2:And it's almost a little bit of like. I've actually changed my mind on this recently, because I used to see it as a really bad thing that, like I didn't have. Maybe I was lacking, you know, self-confidence, or I was lacking something. And then I started to like, with a grain of salt well, the opposite wouldn't be good either. If, like, yeah, everything I do is perfect and I don't need anyone's input on it because I already know that it's great, like having that balance of like I'm proud of my work, but also maybe there's room for improvement.
Speaker 1:The problem with that is the working world expects you to be self-absorbed to a degree. They want you to not be asking questions all the time. They want you just to get the job done, and that's just not how I operate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like.
Speaker 1:I want to make sure it comes out good, because I would rather it be good than I feel like it looks better if the final product is good instead of make a mistake and have to go back and correct it, oh, for sure. Do you feel like that? You struggle to get your thoughts out?
Speaker 2:Oh goodness gracious, I feel like I have to warm up, you know, like you know when it's cold outside, so you need to let your car warm up before it starts running so nothing breaks. I feel like when I start talking, I'm like just let me get some words out and just talk and it's not going to make any sense. And then you'll start to realize oh, she has a point on what she's saying and like this makes sense and this is relevant. This makes sense and this is relevant. But at first I have to be like okay, just like with my boyfriend whenever it's like a serious conversation and I already struggle with conflict quite a bit, so like I just tell him, like okay, just give me a second, like I'm just gonna say words and then hopefully it'll come together we'll get somewhere so for me and hopefully I'm a good enough editor that it never comes out this way, but I will struggle on here to say the right word, and the most frustrating part is is I know the word.
Speaker 1:I can picture the word, oh yeah, in my mind. It's like. I feel like, though, when I'm thinking it's not words but like emotions and pictures. Does that sense? So I don't have the word, but I know the word. I know exactly what I want it to be. I just don't know what that is, and I feel like sometimes that really makes it come out and sound very unintelligent when I'm sitting there stammering the word that train.
Speaker 2:Right, you know the choo-choo. See, my thing is I'll try to say the word in a like a synonym for that word, but it's never an intelligent synonym. It's always like choo-choo. You know the thing? Woo-woo, choo-choo, woo-hoo, like. One time I was teaching and I forgot the word knee, I think. So I said I said okay, so move your leg elbow to the right. I think we were doing a stretch with your wrists. I was like I couldn't remember the word wrist. I was like stretch your arm, ankle, and then we'll do this. Everyone just burst out laughing and they never let me like live it down.
Speaker 1:They kept on calling their wrists, arm, ankles. Do you struggle to fall? So you said you struggle to fall asleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have like bouts of it. I remember in high school I had a lot more it would take. Sometimes it would take like two or three hours for me to fall asleep.
Speaker 2:I think my max before is I laid staring at the ceiling, not being able to sleep for maybe five hours yeah, I think it depends on if I well, recently my days have been pretty filled and I've been very physically active, so that helps me a lot to be able to be tired enough to go to bed. Ever since I could remember, I would never just go to bed when I was sleepy. I always would like push myself and push myself, and push myself until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, and then that's when I would fall asleep. So I felt like I was never really trained on how to fall asleep unless I was like dead tired.
Speaker 2:So in high school, and every once in a while, if I have a big project that I've been thinking of or a big idea that I'm working or something that I'm trying to envision, then I cannot go to sleep because I will just keep on thinking about that. It helps me to write it down, because then I can kind of feel like, okay, it's out of my head, I don't need to remember it like word for word anymore. So now I can go to bed. But no, sometimes when I've had like, oh, this grand vision for this thing, then it's yeah, i's something on my mind.
Speaker 1:I cannot fall asleep, though I have found my magical thing that helps me go to sleep.
Speaker 2:Ooh, what is it?
Speaker 1:I feel like it's because I have to have somebody else talking and speaking for me, towards me or whatever I turn on, let's Plays.
Speaker 2:Oh, really yeah.
Speaker 1:I turn on let's Plays. Hey guys.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to my Minecraft let's Plays. Oh really, I'll turn on let's Plays. Hey guys, Welcome back to my Minecraft let's.
Speaker 1:Plays, because I think it allows me to have something focused on that's monotonous and stupid and has nothing to do with what I'm thinking about in my mind, and it allows me to. I see you're struggling over there.
Speaker 2:Oh, thanks.
Speaker 1:Janelle was trying to put her glass on a chocolate wrapper.
Speaker 2:Well, because I was thinking it might muffle the noise of the mug a little bit. It's fine, I guess I'll just have this coaster.
Speaker 1:Yep. So yeah, let's Plays, oh wow.
Speaker 2:Let's Plays. How do you go to?
Speaker 1:play. Actually, my big thing right now is I found a YouTuber that plays into. See, there it is. I won't be able to say it into into the unknown what is it where incremental incremental games.
Speaker 1:Incremental so it's like you'll go and play like one level of a game. You earn enough money to get upgrades so that you can do better in that game level. So you incrementally get better every time you play it. So his videos are about an hour long and I can fall asleep about maybe 15, 20 minutes into that. That has started working so well that I typically now fall asleep, to Ashley's dismay, whenever we watch anything on TV past nine o'clock.
Speaker 2:Right, you've trained yourself. Now.
Speaker 1:So we'll lay down on the couch and I'll fall asleep almost instantly. So she's like there'll be times where I'm not tired and I can stay up and watch stuff, but I'm pretty much for me once I'm gone, once I start seeing that my eyes are closed, I'm like up and watch stuff. But I'm pretty much for me once I'm gone, once I start seeing that my eyes are closed, I'm like I give up. I'm not like I'm not going to fight it Right, because I'll end up being kind of zombie-like and zoned out and I'm like I'm not going to remember what I'm looking at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I just I end it.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:You're like I'm out. That's interesting. I had a friend recently, like we were having a sleepover, and she was like hey, can we put something on while we fall asleep? And I was like what? No, I should, I should have. But I think I just I run into a lot of like roadblocks with my ADHD of having this like well. No, I shouldn't have to do that to be able to function well, or like well, I should just be this way and be able to function well this way.
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with having the thing that helps you to go to sleep or help you to function, especially for me. I don't really like the idea of taking medication, so anything that allows me around that and allows me to be myself and still be able to fall asleep, I will fully embrace that.
Speaker 2:Right, and I think I have grown a lot just within the past few months. Like for a long time I was like, well, no, I should just be able to wake up at 7 am and be productive and get all my work done in the daytime. But I always function so much better and I'm really productive in the evening. So, like even you know, when I was in high school, I would always like five o'clock, boom, sun starts going down, I'm ready to lock in, I'm ready to get some work done, and right now that's not really conducive to the household I'm living in.
Speaker 1:Which is you said you have there's.
Speaker 2:We have family living with us, and so kids just naturally wake up like before the sun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's just.
Speaker 2:And so I've kind of had to be able to adapt in that way. But I think it's still good for me to realize like no, it's not a bad thing that I'm a night owl and that I work well at night and when I have my own space I can make my schedule be that way, like I don't have to just fit in this idea of what I think a responsible adult looks like.
Speaker 1:I can guess and probably tell you the reason why that works out so much is because whenever the sun goes down, it becomes quiet and there's so many less distractions around you happening with all the noise and all the static of the world. Darkness somehow is associated with quiet, like it's quiet outside because the sun went down.
Speaker 2:Love that feeling like. I love, then I think that's also why I stay up so late, because I love the quiet and the solitude of nighttime. It's like everyone else in my house has gone to bed and so it's just me, so I can focus on the things that I need to focus on, rather than always being interrupted by oh hey, janelle, can you do this? Or oh hey, I have a question about this.
Speaker 1:You know that you have your time.
Speaker 2:I know I have my time because everyone else is asleep Like it's one in the morning, so I can just like exist and nothing else exists.
Speaker 1:And I'm the same way. I can't. It doesn't matter if I fall asleep at like seven o'clock in the afternoon or at night, seven o'clock at night. If I sleep 12 hours, I've slept 12 hours before and woke up and could not wake up. There is something wrong with my mind that it has nothing to do with my physical rest. There's something in my mind that just does not allow me to wake up. So it doesn't matter how much I sleep, I always will struggle with waking up in the morning yeah, that's interesting, yeah, I don't know I'm.
Speaker 2:I just don't get the like oh I'm awake, so now let's do something. You know, like I'm awake, so now I want to make some tea and like go back to sleep.
Speaker 1:This morning ashley woke up about nine o'clock and woke me up. It's like she wanted to go to her sister's house and I'm just like, but it's nine o'clock right and I tried to go back to sleep you're like um access denied but that was because I stayed up to like one editing podcast, so that had nothing that's the hard thing is like oh, why did I?
Speaker 2:I think it's that like same, the idea of like I can't put things in the proper priority, but more of just like, oh, I'm thinking of it now, so I should work on it now, and so I have such a hard time of being like, oh, this can wait until the morning for me to work on. I'm like, no, I'm thinking about it right now.
Speaker 2:I should work on it right now. Oh whoops, it's two in the morning. Okay, I could keep going, but I actually my eyes are like drooping and I'm falling asleep, so I guess it can wait till the morning.
Speaker 1:I struggle with that too, and it'll be the most mundane things Like. The one thing I actually have going on right now is I have lost my headset case for my old headphones and I haven't found them and that's been bothering me nonstop so, and that's been a couple of days so I've been pretty good about forgetting about it, but it's still like something as soon as you remember?
Speaker 2:you're like no, it's not right.
Speaker 1:Where is it? Where is it?
Speaker 2:I've been learning a lot about my ADHD and just how my brain works, and productivity has been on my mind a lot because I've started. I'm actually in the process of starting my own business right now. Wow, so I just filed for my LLC. I'm waiting to hear back from them to see if it got approved. So I'm like trying to run, like be my own boss and run my own business doing freelance choreography and dance teaching.
Speaker 1:Wow, I want to use that moment to transition out of ADHD and get into, because we kind of were talking about it before the recording. But let's talk a little bit about jobs and how you have been struggling with trying to, you know, find a job Right, and you know that nonsense, yeah. So, and I want to hear more about your LLC as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, tyler, this is your transition.
Speaker 1:You got it.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty much Johnny now. So, Tyler, we are now transitioning out of the previous topic and into the next topic.
Speaker 1:Yes, tyler, I hope you enjoy this next topic. So you were telling me how hard it is right now for you to find a job just because of the nature of online applying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I some of my job. History is I didn't work in high school because I was really busy doing a lot of volunteer stuff. I was really busy doing a lot of volunteer stuff and so I got my first job when I was 19. And that was at a funeral home. So, yes, I worked at a funeral home.
Speaker 1:That is like such like there's not many people, like everybody's. Like I worked at McDonald's, I worked at Burger King and Dairy Queen and you're over here. Like I worked with dead people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my first job was funeral home. It was a great job.
Speaker 1:I was the funeral home.
Speaker 2:I was an office assistant and so I worked in the office at a funeral home. I did lots of paperwork and filing and like death certificate data entry and stuff like that. So it was. It was a cool job, but anyway. So that's my work history. I have like so many years of volunteer experience and then just nine months at a funeral home, so my resume is not like helping. You know. They say oh, ai is how people online will take resumes and they're looking for particular keywords.
Speaker 2:Yeah, keywords, You're not going to find it online because it's funeral home. Dance instructor, summer camp leader, you know.
Speaker 1:It's like what, besides the funeral home? What people, a lot of people, look at? Okay, so her jobs were hobbies.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly, yeah, so it's so random, so I always feel so weird. You know, I got Indeed to be able to apply for some jobs. Just, I needed part time work to pay for gas nowadays and I just feel so weird putting my resume because I'm like, if you don't know me as a person, you're going to think I made this up, you're going to think this is a bot, like applying for this job.
Speaker 1:Beep boop, bopop.
Speaker 2:Let me work at your pharmacy no, literally it's like someone just like put in randomizer resume template and that's my resume you chat gpt the heck out of that resume I just uh, I I shook a dice and I threw it, and that's how I put everything in there.
Speaker 1:that's how many years of experience I had for this job 20.
Speaker 2:And I am in my 20s, yeah. So once I left the funeral home, I started teaching dance and I really enjoyed the experience I was getting with that, because I'm pretty self-taught. I didn't go to school for, like dance, you know, it's just something I'm passionate about, and so I'm now at the point where I'm like, okay, if I want to keep paying my bills, then I need to get some part-time work. So, yeah, I have had a hard time with this, like putting in so many like hours of work applying to different places, because every single application asks you the same information and you have to put in.
Speaker 2:Are you 18? Can you work in the us legally? You know it's like yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, I don't have a criminal history I'm gonna let my adhd take over for a second.
Speaker 1:Heck yeah, and talk about how that's the same garbage that you have to deal with when going to the hospital really but in the way I've never been to the hospital at least once well, when I was born, I I left, I didn't go in but like when you're going on doctor's visits and medical checkups or you know, whatever you go there for, it's like they ask you to fill out. Or the dentist or whatever I exams, they all do this nonsense and it's so annoying where. Fill out this form online and when you get there they have you sign out, sign the same exact forms again, like I just want to put on there. Check your records, like check your email or something Like why do I have to fill out the same thing three times by the time that I go for you to drill into my teeth?
Speaker 1:Like it makes no sense at all. There has to be some sort of like medical reason why they do that. You know what I mean. Like we don't want to waste the paper, so here's, fill this out. Like wait, what are you talking about? But sorry to get off topic, it's just that was my old man rant no, feel free.
Speaker 2:You know this is your porch.
Speaker 1:Feel free to this is actually my kitchen table oh, you're right, I forgot so my work history I want to talk about that and I kind of have a point at the end of this is I worked at a pizza place. I worked at a chemical warehouse.
Speaker 2:I worked at a the pizza and the chemical warehouse were next door to you know, it's the same place?
Speaker 1:uh, neither to that. Uh worked at a place which they worked on and repaired electronics inside of gas pumps. Oh, I didn't know specifically. Yeah, everything that we worked on and repaired electronics inside of gas pumps oh, I didn't know specifically. Yeah, everything that we worked on there was gas pump related that's so interesting I remember we everybody got really excited because we got a contract with kroger.
Speaker 1:Well, it's a big deal because they, you know that means now we're getting repairing stuff for a major gas chain and not like these weird, like one-off country mom-and-pop gas stations, right, and then I work where I work at now. I started there as a truck loader loading pallets and bundles of pipe onto trucks. I hurt myself, not intentionally, just want to make that clear.
Speaker 2:He's like I can get something out of you.
Speaker 1:I was injured on the job. Oh no, and here's my point to this and the worth ethic of it all. They gave me the option to pull disability or they said you can help out at another position. I chose the other position. I can't be the kind of person who sits there and let me make money sitting at home Right, especially with my awful mind just sitting there.
Speaker 2:I get so depressed when I don't do things.
Speaker 1:So I said let me do this. It started out with me just helping out at the shipping desk, helping with some small paperwork stuff. But the reason why in the first place they allowed me to do that job is because in my free time between loading trucks, when there wasn't anything to do, I went over there and already helped out. So I already knew how to do the job. Oh cool. So when I hurt myself, I was put in over there helping. So when I hurt myself, I was put in over there helping. And one of the people were let go over there at the shipping desk and they said are you able to do this job by yourself? I said yes, because I could. And they said great, you have the job Like on the spot. I'm like perfect.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I did that and in my free time working the shipping desk, I then went to other departments and learned the other departments, at least for like a little while. Like, hey, can you cover for me for a little bit? I want to go see how Will Call is doing, I want to see how Parcel is doing their thing, I want to go see what Receiving is doing. And because I put forth that effort, I was able to then get a job where I work now, because I learned everything. I now work in IT in the same company.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I guess my advice to so many people out there is even if you have a cruddy job, don't treat that cruddy job as something that, even if you're only there for a little while, treat it like you don't like that job. Still do your job and look at other aspects of your job there, because that'll allow you to move up and end up doing something that you really love. Because I'm blessed in that moment. That was, let me tell this, it was like I was talking to the HR manager my now boss and found out there was a position implied and I said, you know, talking to him like I'm interested in that and he said okay, cool, get me your resume. And one of my co-workers was going to help me type out my resume to look at. Good, look good make it looking good.
Speaker 1:The next day and you know I came back with all my information. I didn't have a resume typed up yet and they said don't worry about that, he's waiting for you right now for an interview.
Speaker 2:Oh perfect.
Speaker 1:So I went in there and talked to him I already had talked to him and went in and went into the office, talked with him again and we didn't really talk about the job, we just kind of talked. And then by the time I walked out of that office I had the job. So we're going from one day working shipping desk to being in IT the next day. Unfortunately, I had to wait like another month and a half before I could go to that position, but that was the worst month and a half of like.
Speaker 2:I just want the job. I want to go to IT. I'm just waiting. So bringing that into our, tying it into our ADHD conversation, do you feel like that ability to you know, multitask and learn by interest? Do you feel like being able to travel around so much in your job and learn? Do you think that is related to your ADHD?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I got bored at the shipping desk. I want to go see other things. Yeah, because what I was doing was so mundane and I've caught myself several times, you know, picking up my phone and swiping through social media instead of doing the job and I'd get behind and it's like it's because it was so mundane. If I really buckled down and actually did the job like I was supposed to, I'd probably be done by noon every day instead of leaving at five o'clock. But also, if you're hourly, you don't make money doing that. But yeah, it's just my drive to just not be bored, probably. Yeah, also, having a mind vortex stuff helped.
Speaker 2:So I also got that at the funeral home because I was doing a lot of data entry or like literally just anything they put on my desk, I would do so. I would you know. Literally just anything they put on my desk, I would do so. I would, you know, send out letters, you know invoices to people. I was folding paper, putting stamps on envelopes, writing out or like typing out, printing things.
Speaker 2:So it was a lot of very easy, kind of mundane tasks that I would have to like listen to a podcast or, you know, be thinking about something, or so I would get these things done so quickly and then I would be bored again, like waiting for another thing to do. So I just learned anything that they would let me learn. This might be a little gross to people who are squeamish, but I started filling the jewelry with ashes that would come in so people can like buy urns and buy jewelry and stuff like that that they want to fill the ashes of their loved one with, and so I was like, no, let me do it, let me learn how to do it. And they're like are you sure? And I was like, please, I want something to do, I'm so bored.
Speaker 1:I feel like that even now in IT, when, like, jobs come in to my own detriment, I will volunteer for things and then later on be like I don't want to do this. You know what I mean. Like just because it's something new and something I want to look at or work on, I want to learn it. And when I realize there's something that doesn't interest me, I'm like why did I volunteer for this?
Speaker 2:Oh, that happens to me all the time I'll say yes and then, once I'm doing it, or once it gets closer, I'm like why did I say yes to this thing? Yeah, anyway. So I um kind of back to the job search thing.
Speaker 2:I just realized like a lot of the jobs that I got was just because I called and then they were like yeah, sure, come in for an interview, which that just always seemed to work. So, doing this whole online, like filling out a questionnaire and sending out resumes and things like that, it was just frustrating. So I would call the place after applying. And one of the places I applied to well, I got this thing that was like, oh, pharmacy tech at a grocery store, and I thought, oh, that's interesting because I could learn that, you know, within probably a few weeks or a month or two, learn the things I needed to do, and it would be kind of social and I'm a pretty social person, so but it also would be like not something I already know how to do, like I really that, like new learning part of a job, really interested me, and so I started applying to a few different places.
Speaker 2:The first place I applied to was like no, we're not actually hiring. And I was like what Then? Why did you have the like application open? But they said, oh, we just like to keep it open, so we'll keep you in mind, you know, if anything changes or if other locations you know need somebody. So like, well, and then I think I applied for like a gym receptionist or something, because I was like oh, maybe GYM or GEM GYM.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:G-E-M. Charis, you know I was homeschooled. I don't know how to spell.
Speaker 2:My brain stuttered. Well, because I was trying to remember if you said G-E-M or J-I-M, Like I was making a new joke.
Speaker 1:I'm a gym specialist.
Speaker 2:I was making a new joke in my head.
Speaker 1:Anyway, y-m, yeah, nice new, I'm a gym specialist.
Speaker 2:I was making a new joke in my head anyway. Uh, ym, yeah, nice gymnasium, there you go. Because I was like I'm a social person. I've done office work before, also my job with teaching dance is very physical. I'd love to start working at gyms, teaching like classes, and maybe that would be my way in. But the few gyms that I applied for, one of them was like we're not hiring, and then the other one was like we don't like you yeah.
Speaker 2:No, literally they sent me an email that was like thank you for your application, but we are going to consider other candidates. So I emailed back because it wasn't just like an automated email, it was an actual person's email. So I said why? Like I literally emailed back, like in a more professional manner, but I just asked why did you? Why are you choosing other candidates? I would like to know.
Speaker 2:And so then, you know, she basically came down to scheduling. She was like well, you listed your availability as this and we need someone to work weekends. And I was like, oh well, what time on the weekends? Because I go to church on Sunday mornings, so like I can't do Sunday mornings, but I could try to work around. You know, I was like I want to work here, so I'm willing to work with you. And she was like um, yes, and that's why we're considering other candidates. And I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay, bye, okay, okay, bye, bye-bye. So I left that one, but I don't know if this is just a big chain, so I'll say it, because it's not like anyone could track me down.
Speaker 1:Are you going to dox, not dox, walmart?
Speaker 2:Walmart. But once I got on that pharmacy tech kick, because that's another thing I don't like about job searching is how vast it is. When you go on those websites it's like, well, do you want to apply here? Do you want to apply here? Do you want to apply here? And I hate options, options stress me out.
Speaker 2:I would rather like yes or no, You're just like yes, yeah, I do not like having so many options Like menus. If a restaurant has a menu with like a thousand things on it, it stresses me out, especially if you're in the drive-thru and it's like what do you?
Speaker 1:want? I don't know yeah.
Speaker 2:So anyway. So once I realized oh, pharmacy tech is interesting, Let me just stick with that route, and just try to apply to be a pharmacy tech somewhere, and so I saw that a CVS was hiring and I was like, oh, I could just work like as a cashier or I could get in like with the pharmacy. And so then I actually I tried applying online and again I just I kept on meeting these like roadblocks, because they want all of this information that sometimes you don't have. But you can't get past that.
Speaker 1:So anyway, I will say this, but you can't get past that, so anyway. So I will say this I hate it when applications ask you for personal information of like where do you see yourself in like five years? You know what I mean. Like personal, like really.
Speaker 2:Isn't that an interview question, not an application question?
Speaker 1:yeah, but you know what I mean. It's just like they'll ask you like or write a short essay about yourself, and it's like I'm just gonna tell you who I am you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:I'm just a girl in the world.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite jokes on I think it's that 70s show is they're interviewing, uh, everybody for a job. They all apply. Only one person gets it and they're like where do you see yourself in five years? And he, very big, gives a big old grin and he goes. I see myself working here and it's like this job, in this job. And he goes. I see myself working here and it's like In this job, in this job. And he gets the job. To be honest, a lot of times places want you to be the drone who loves working there.
Speaker 2:Right, so yeah, committed to their indefinitely.
Speaker 1:Indoctrinated into their company culture.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and whatnot so. Yeah. So I went to the CVS because I was like applying online is not working, and right before I went in I literally printed out a physical copy of my resume and then my letter of recommendation from the funeral home and I was like I was about to get out of my car and I was just like Lord, I'm so tired of job hunting, like I am so tired of just asking and asking and not getting anything in return, or like searching out and searching out and having no one like take a chance on me.
Speaker 2:And so I was like Lord, just please, please, let this work out Like I need some encouragement.
Speaker 1:And then the Lord answered back no, you're going to suffer some more. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2:Perseverance. So actually I went in and then asked I had to wait in line for a little bit and I was like hey, is there someone I can talk to? You know about hiring opportunities? And the girl was like yeah, right behind you. I was like what? I turned around and then there's two people who are like very obviously upper management, and so she calls one of them over, is like yeah, this girl wants to know about, uh, getting a job, and right away he's like asking me questions. Oh, it's your availability, and so anyway, that was so encouraging to just talk face to face with a human who actually seemed interested in which we have gotten away so much.
Speaker 1:So yeah, like with technology out there, yeah, it's easier to apply, but it really takes away from that human element I've always thought about. I think it's the best way to do a job interview. It's just to have somebody come out, you talk to them and actually have them do the job like a work interview where it's like we'll pay you for your time that you work the job, because you will always.
Speaker 1:You are not in an interview getting to know the person as an employee. You're getting to know the person as a person, right? I am so awkward in interviews and you might have people who are awful in doing interviews. That does not mean that that person cannot do the job. That might be your best employee ever, but if they can't talk to a straight like a new person, you're going to dismiss them. So I would like to see more work interviews where it's like we're going to go out, we're going to do a job, we're going to see you don't have to do it, right, but I want to see how you function within the job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or even just seeing how you handle being given instruction or being given criticism or something like that.
Speaker 1:I'm not training you. I'm just like let's see how you do on this phone call or at the cash register or whatever, like we're going to give you a gift card or whatever for your time. You know what I mean, right, something, yeah. But it's like let's see how you function within the job, and that's always going to give you so much better of a idea of how the person is as an employee than talking to them or online, like you said. Just that human interaction between two people is always going to be better than a sheet of paper.
Speaker 2:Right, and I also just struggle because, kind of like we said at the beginning, my resume is so strange, like I have so many different because my, you know, I pursue my interests and so I have a bunch of different things. But I know that I'm a competent worker and I know I'm a quick learner and I take on responsibility very willingly. And so I'm like if I could just get in the door and talk to someone, they could clearly see within five minutes that I would be totally fine and I would probably rise up in the ranks in a short amount of time just by talking to me face to face.
Speaker 2:But if you just look at this paper, you're maybe not going to get that impression. You might just think, oh wow, she just hops around to a bunch of different stuff.
Speaker 1:Wow, she worked at a funeral home and dances while she's there.
Speaker 2:Wow, this girl is this woman is crazy which is true, but I will try to keep that on the down low. I'm applying for jobs. Don't tell people I'm crazy, don't? Don't you tell them my, my history?
Speaker 1:by the way, I got spaghetti in my pocket. You want some?
Speaker 2:now, that's the type of job interviews we need to see more of you're hired if you have a spaghetti in your pocket that's the secret oh, no, yeah.
Speaker 1:So every job interview has the golden snitch of the you gotta catch the spaghetti well, no, it's that you have to meet a secret, secret quest or whatever within the job interview. Like, if you come in wearing two different colored shoes, you automatically get the job. That's crazy. I would love to see golden snitch goals in job interviews, like, by the way, just letting you know before you come in, this job interview has a golden snitch, but that's all you get to know.
Speaker 2:That's all you get to know. That would be crazy, yeah, yeah. So I hope it works out, I hope I get hired. I really just need like some more hours and a bit more. I've been, you know, pursuing my passion of teaching dance and being in more of the performance world, and I'm happy the time that I've dedicated to it, because I've learned so much about just how to plan lessons and like teach students weekly, not just like sporadically like I've done in the past and build relationships and understand dance and the skill that it takes to perform well enough to teach it to someone else. So, like I'm glad I've spent this time focused on that, but I haven't. I've been losing money. Really Like my my savings has been dwindling. So I'm hoping to just work really hard for a few more months to kind of stack my savings more before jumping back into just trying to do teaching dance full time. So that kind of goes into the topic of my business that I'm starting.
Speaker 1:Let's hear it.
Speaker 2:It's called Performing with Purpose LLC.
Speaker 1:Pop Poop. No poop Poop. Sorry, for some reason my mind heard with as an O word, so I said pop. I just so desperately wanted it to be pop.
Speaker 2:You wanted it to be pop pop.
Speaker 1:Pop, not pop.
Speaker 2:Pop, performing with Purpose LLC and the goal is to teach freelance choreography as well as be a contracted worker for dance studios and things like that.
Speaker 2:But my whole goal is like, I don't just perform for glory, I don't perform to please people, I don't perform to get rich, but I have a purpose for performing and you know, I know what that purpose is, and it's to glorify the Lord and it's to communicate with others His glory and His grace.
Speaker 2:And so I know that, like in the performance world, if you don't know your purpose, you can get just crashed by the waves of people wanting to use you or people wanting to kind of form you into what they want you to be, kind of form you into what they want you to be. So I've really tried to focus on, no, what is my identity as a performer and what is my identity as an instructor going into this world, and it's to please the Lord and to use dance as a ministry. So anyway, that's just a little bit about my philosophy with it Holistic dancing, not this dancing of like well, you need to be perfect and hurt your body to get there, but more of learning about how the body is supposed to move, and in a healthy way. So yeah, it's still in the very beginning stages, but I have a logo, I'm going to be doing a fundraiser for it soon and I'm super excited.
Speaker 1:So Janelle came on and just secretly thought I'm going to advertise my business on the podcast.
Speaker 2:So follow me on Instagram that's performingwithpurpose.
Speaker 1:That's Pwop on Pwop level C.
Speaker 2:Performing with underscore purpose.
Speaker 1:Perform.
Speaker 2:Okay, say it clearly this time, and without me interrupting, so my Instagram is at performing with underscore purpose.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, and you have your fancy logo on there, I have my fancy little logo that my friend Abby helped me with.
Speaker 2:Shout out to her. She's awesome.
Speaker 1:Shout out Wabi, wap, wap, wap, wap, wap, wap.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I actually had some ideas of like doing some mini series, maybe on the Instagram or on my YouTube channel, of like small business diaries, as I am creating this small business of stuff. Like hey, I'm trying to figure out this fundraiser because we're going to be making t-shirts and selling them. And like trying to figure out how to build a website and how to do this and how to do that. So you know if it wasn't illegal to do so. I'd recommend TikTok oh to make a TikTok.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't do it now.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they banned TikTok.
Speaker 2:No, but it went.
Speaker 1:Okay, the.
Speaker 2:ban lasted like 24 hours.
Speaker 1:So the ban lasted 24 hours if you already have TikTok.
Speaker 2:Oh, but you can't create a new account.
Speaker 1:You can't download the app anymore, but if you already have a TikTok, you can keep using it. As she picks up her phone to go see I'm trying to see, do I? Have TikTok.
Speaker 2:I don't use TikTok, but I randomly saw that it was downloaded on my phone. No, I think I deleted it.
Speaker 1:No, you don't have TikTok.
Speaker 2:Yay, I'm safe.
Speaker 1:That's the last time I check, because I'll send Ashley TikToks and she'll be like I can't watch this.
Speaker 2:I know People will send them to me and I'm like you have to have the app to watch them. You can't just do it in a browser.
Speaker 1:You can do it in the browser if you're on the desktop, like on a computer, I believe, but it's like how do I click that link that's on my phone, on my computer?
Speaker 2:Sometimes I've sent it, like to a different friend who I'm with, to be like hey, can you show this to me on your phone, because someone sent this to me.
Speaker 1:So I'll send them to Ashley still and be like okay, now we're going to sit here and look at these TikToks together. Look at all of them. It's just more of like me. Okay, now, here's your next one, here's your next one, here's your next one. I've been a little bit better not sending her TikToks but, if I'm like on Instagram or Facebook or.
Speaker 1:YouTube shorts. I'll send her those, yeah, so that's awesome. But I this because we're getting kind of close to time, like you said, god being in your dance, and that's the center focus. I wanted to say real quick that, with the ADHD and whatnot, without God I wouldn't be able to focus in this world and be able to function at all, and so all glory to him for allowing me to be blessed by him, because I wouldn't be where I'm at today in my job. I'm blessed with my marriage. I'm blessed with being able to function as a human being every day. I'd be insane, I'd be in an insane asylum if I didn't have God, you know. So I just want to give him the glory at the end of this episode.
Speaker 2:Amen. I feel like I have such a sturdy foundation because of my relationship with the Lord, because my mind you know attributing it to ADHD my mind is racing all the time, so I create scenarios all the time that aren't real. They don't exist. I've never had these conversations with these people and yet I'll just be thinking, oh, I would say this if this person said this. And so it's like my mind's always racing.
Speaker 2:So anxiety is very tempting to entertain and I think the only reason why I can go about my day feeling stable is because of my relationship with the Lord, because I know that I'm grounded in truth. So, yeah, my brain could be all over the place, but I can always come back to the Bible. I can always come back to the truth to kind of like center myself, and that's what's honestly given me the confidence to try to start my own business, because it is a risk, like I'm taking a risk on myself with the hopes that I'll be able to, you know, make a living one day with this and that my passion is even worth pursuing. But I felt the Lord just bring me so much peace and encourage me so much to like hey, janelle, I gave you this life, you only get this one, so I want you to steward it well and go after what you're passionate about and use the gifts that I've given you. So yeah, praise the Lord.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:Wait for it.
Speaker 1:So again, thank you so much for coming out. I know you'll do it at any point. You're like, you're always just like what if the podcast always had three people on it? I'm always.
Speaker 2:You're always just like what if the podcast always had three people on it? So I've been sending out a lot of interviews recently. Here is another interview.
Speaker 1:So, anyways, again, thank you so much. This has been the 23rd episode of the Saints that Serve podcast. I'm sorry I didn't do it to Ashley. I didn't make you do it again. I didn't make anybody roll dice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was thinking about that. I could shake this salt shaker, I guess.
Speaker 1:And how many, however many Go ahead and shake it, pour it on the table and count the pieces of salt, and that'll be like how many Shake shake shake. Yep how many is on the table?
Speaker 2:One, two, three, four, five.
Speaker 1:All right, I want you to do the outro of the episode like you're a five-year-old.
Speaker 2:Okay, we were the Saints that Serve podcast. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1:Bye.
Speaker 2:Is that the outro?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I didn't know what the outro was it lord, do you not remember? No, no, I do remember, okay rewind, rewind. So christ is lord and the kingdom is now we are the saints that serve thanks, jerry, no problem you, we did it.
Speaker 1:Yay, we did it. We recorded an episode.
Speaker 2:We stayed on track. No, we didn't I feel like we did pretty good.
Speaker 1:I think John will be like this is the best episode ever.
Speaker 2:This is the wittily the best episode ever. Have Janelle on all the time.
Speaker 1:No, you're fired.
Speaker 2:I really need CBS to take me now.
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